You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
