My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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