You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
