Too much gin, very little bucket
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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