bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
