put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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