its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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