i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize