I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
