he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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