At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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