Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
