I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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