I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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