Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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