no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
