On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
