I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize