Your dad touched me again.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
