Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
