I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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