I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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