Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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