Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
