So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
