well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
