Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize