So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
