C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
