Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
