If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
