I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Buhtt sex?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
