I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
