so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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