somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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