wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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