Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
