I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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