And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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