before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
