The best revenge is premature balding
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
