I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
