So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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