u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm both gender and math confused
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
