Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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