I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
