is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
