He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
