I'm gonna have a badass scar
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
