he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
