Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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