david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
