what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Im part way to drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
