but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
