Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
