how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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