so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
