is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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