everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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