he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
