I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
