I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize