In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize