Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
do nipples grow back?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize