chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
